WHY AM I STILL LAUGHING
I COULD LISTEN TO THIS MAN LAUGHING FOREVER
Sometimes it feels like I’m all that they’ve got,
It’s so hard to know I’m not what they want.
- This is my resume, edited for resume pointers.
- I don’t believe in paragraphs. Bullets are awesome. Paragraphs are not.
- I had a year where I jumped around to various short term contracts. I also don’t want employers to think I can’t hold down a job. Solution? Remove the dates, label all work experience as Projects. The long-term work retains dates and location since I want that to stick out.
- Technical skills! I want my employer to see what I CAN do. List EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO with a computer. If it’s a skill, it deserves a place. I landed my first job partly because I could make my own GIFs!
- No references. No objective. Everyone’s objective is to get hired. Everyone has references. Your objective IS your cover letter, and in it you should include a line mentioning that you’re willing to provide references.
- What do you do if you don’t have work experience? GOOD NEWS. You exist. You have probably been in a club. You have probably done volunteer work. SPIN THAT. It’s an experience you had, it was legitimate, and you actually did it. Every experience is simply you preparing for your next job. Even if you weren’t paid to do it.
- If you haven’t done it already, sign up for Linkedin, Monster, and Careerbuilder. I had no idea people still used Monster until I signed up for it, posted my resume, and got four calls the next day. Dead serious.
- I couldn’t demonstrate it in this, but PEPPER IN KEY WORDS. HR folks nowadays use generic search terms to dig out new hires from databases. Pick several phrases or terms related to the position you want (READ JOB APPLICATIONS AND BLATANTLY ABUSE THEIR TERMS) and casually sift them in. Social Analytics! Content creation! Brand strategy! Administrative experience! Synnergy!
- GOOD LUCK
back when i was a bee keeper my bees were really gentle and one time i scooped up a handful of them and i got rly emotional and wanted to kiss them and i essentially faceplanted myself into a palm full of bees while crying and that’s an important fact about me
a mix for all the infjs out there; listen here